It's Your Birthday

 

It's Your Birthday

Here's to a wonderful birthday
I hope that you go out and play
Celebrate in style
'cause in a short while
after today its your turn to pay.

A sweet little birthday limerick.  For some strange reason unknown to me it seems to get taken the wrong way in the United Kingdom.  So please dear readers do not send it to Kate or the Queen!

Insomnia

Insomnia

Insomnia keeps me awake
no matter what sedative I take.
"My God!, I scream,
"Please let me dream!
Have mercy, my life is at stake!"

I have often been troubled by Insomnia.

Time Travel Line

Time Travel Line

My facebook timeline went awry!
It disappeared and they told me why,
"In the future you pose
without any clothes
and post the pictures - therefore goodbye!"

I wonder why the time traveler in The Time Traveler's Wife did not stash more clothes (and a bulletproof vest) or have his wife do it for him?  He seemed to be smarter than Bill & Ted and they were smart enough to stash items that they needed.  And how could he have forgotten that his wife had seduced the younger him before the older him got his vasectomy?  Ah the paradoxes of time travel and their effect on your facebook timeline!

A Sci-fi Reader's Heaven

A Sci-fi Reader's Heaven

A sci-fi reader's heaven
is a novel by Larry Niven
but add in Pournelle
and things go to hell
with the complexity he likes to throw in!

A Sci-fi Reader's Heaven resulted from my recent reading of a book, Playgrounds of the Mind, by Larry Nevin that reminded me that Larry had collaborated with Jerry Pournelle on a book called Inferno.

93 Million Mile Trip

93 Million Mile Trip

We're going on an outer space flight.
Planning takes a lot of foresight.
We are going to the sun
but we won't burn anyone
'cause we plan to land there at night.

RIP Neil Armstrong!

The Illinois Way

The Illinois Way

Every vote is important today
and I live in a swing state so they say.
I'll vote early and often
for those dead and forgotten
and we'll prevail the Illinois way!

Make sure you register to vote dear readers!

Back in the Day - Dare Devils

Back in the Day - Dare Devils

Riding bikes on a dare down suicide hill
"Oh my God!  He took a terrible spill!
Will he ever learn?
Oh!  It's my turn!
Time to give the crowd a big thrill!"

I was not much of a dare devil dear readers - except when my brother tried to turn me into one!

Previous Back in the Day Next

Fed Up with Facebook - a guest poem by Leslie Knauer Leitz

Fed Up with Facebook - a guest poem
by Leslie Knauer Leitz

(And in my very best early childhood teacher voice I say: )

"I do not like this Timeline plan,
I am not, will not be a fan.
I do not like it here or there,
I do not like it anywhere.
I will not comment in a box,
I will not buy your common stocks.
I do not LIKE this Facebook plan!
No thank you ever, Mark, the Man."

 

You are most fortunate dear readers. My friend Leslie has submitted this poem for your enjoyment. (The title & drawing are mine so do not blame her for those!)

Olympic Closing - a guest Limerick by Jim Harris

Olympic Closing
(a guest Limerick by Jim Harris

The opening ceremonies were better I recall
With McCartney whose first name is Paul.
When the countries first appeared,
on the levels three tiered,
much nicer than the closing that was weird.

I'd like to thank my friend Jim Harris for sending me a guest limerick.  If you close your eyes and wish real hard, the drawing represents Jim & I playing water polo in our high school pool back in the day. 

NBC Olympic Closing Cuts

NBC Olympic Closing Cuts

By order of Her Royal Majesty
NBC will be punished corporally!
They will surely regret
cutting Waterloo Sunset
during their closing ceremony butchery.

They should be sent to Hades for cutting out Ray Davies!  iNaneBC really screwed up by butchering the ceremony and cutting Waterloo Sunset.  They will be punished!  I am calling for a boycott of their new shows!

Please join me in a boycott of the new NBC shows!    Join this facebook group!

Craig & Sue

Craig & Sue

High school sweethearts Craig & Sue.
They got together & said, "I Do!"
42 years have passed.
I think its going to last.
Congratulations to the both of you!

I wrote Craig & Sue two years ago for their 40th anniversary.  That was before I started this limerick blog.  Now that they have successfully completed two more orbits of the sun since then, I've updated it for publication here. 

Back in the Day - Throwing Dirt Clods on Del Matro

Back in the Day - Throwing Dirt Clods on Del Matro

Throwing dirt clods was a favorite game
'til conked in the head by errant aim.
Lying flat on the ground,
"look he's coming around!"
Someone's asking, "What is your name?"

When I was in grade school, the neighborhood around the my school building in Windsor Heights, Iowa was under development.  There were many vacant lots and several had foundations dug and massive dirt piles.  What a fun and dangerous play ground!

Previous Back in the Day Next

London Olympics Opening

London Olympics Opening

When I saw the Queen with James Bond the spy
I could not help it, I started to cry.
When they jumped like that
I feared she'd go splat
'cause Bond girls they usually die!

I am anxious to see The Who at the closing ceremony.  I hope that Roger & Pete are in good voice for a CSI theme song medley!

Iowa Olympians

 
Iowa Olympians

The State of Iowa has pride by the ton
for hurdler Lolo Jones and gymnast Shawn Johnson
from Des Moines and Valley Junction
they performed with gumption.
What wonderful championships they have won.

I wrote Iowa Olympians after the 2008 Games but it is still true today.  

By the way dear readers, Valley Junction is the old name for West Des Moines.   Without a doubt it is Iowa's gold medal city thanks to Shawn & Gabby Douglas' Olympic wins!

Austerity Part 2

Austerity Part 2

A dinner of rice and beans.
It isn't quite haute cuisine.
Fresh veggies and meat
would be quite a treat,
but my food budget's in the latrine.

Do not worry dear readers!  In the real world things are not that bad.  I had tacos for lunch!

Previous Austerity Next

The Basement

The Basement

Dozens of kids in the basement.
Here comes another contingent.
Their shoes fill the foyer.
How could there be still more?
Perhaps I should make them all pay rent.

When my younger son was in high school our basement was a gathering place for his friends.  I miss those days!