What Knot to Wear

 

 

What Knot to Wear

If you've read my new book, 'What Knot to Wear',
and fashioned macrame clothes to wear here and there,
Just don't get caught
with a frayed knot
and find you're unraveled and suddenly bare.

Living with a Slob

 

 

Living with a Slob

It may be the worst thing by far
when slobs won't admit what they are!
It's an impossible wish
that they'd rinse out a dish
or pick up trash from the floor of the car!

Words with Friends Rule Change

 

Words with Friends Rule Change

Words with Friends is a little bit tame.
Here's a rule to make it less lame:
Send the winner a nude
that isn't too lewd
to have a more interesting game.

Naked Santa Clones

 

Naked Santa Clones

Do you wonder how there can be
a Santa for every Christmas tree?
They are just clones
that are factory grown
ready to suit up and come down your chimney.

 

Naked Santa Campaign Scandal

 

Naked Santa Campaign Scandal

The Iowa caucus win was in the bag
when Naked Santa's campaign hit a snag.
On Christmas eve night
he was caught in plain sight
inside a house with a bagful of swag!

Naked Santa's Xmas Card Part 2

 

 

Naked Santa's Xmas Card Part 2

Naked Santa fans, every girl and boy
find his Xmas card a thing of joy!
They like to see
frontal nudity
with his unwrapped package proudly deployed!

Naked Santa's Xmas Card

 

Naked Santa's Xmas Card

Naked Santa's fans are in dismay.
They received his Xmas card today.
Would it be so hard
to produce a card
where the words are not in the way?

My Physical Therapist Part 2

Molly

My Physical Therapist Part 2

I injured my shoulder in a fit of folly.
and went to my physical therapist Molly
When Molly moved it around,
the whole town heard the sound
when it went "pop" and I cried, "Oh Golly!"