The Law in Winnebago County

The Law in Winnebago County

Our deputy has a license to fly.
Hang on to your hat when he speeds by!
And you better pray
that you're not in his way
'cause the laws of Sir Isaac still apply.

Speed kills!  Even when it is a sworn officer doing the speeding.

He's A Peach

He's A Peach

Carol loved Scott and his manly Physique,
steroids and lifting, bulked up to his peak.
When he aimed hammer blows
at her knees and her nose
she kicked him out for nearly a week.

This one is not meant to be funny dear readers!  It is based on a scary night when a beaten and bloody neighbor banged on our patio door very late several years ago. 

The Grand Obstructionist Party

The Grand Obstructionist Party

If you want to return to prosperity
then by God get rid of the GOP!
From Spokane to Hoboken
the Grand Old Party is broken!
We need a new one desperately!

I am announcing it here dear readers.  I am going into politics.  I am weary of the GOP's obstructionist policies.  I think that its time has past and I have decided to work for the extinction of the GOP.  I envision a time when no candidate with a GOP label will be able to get elected at the national, state, or local levels.  I envision a time when the GOP will not be able to raise a penny to launch their hateful campaigns. 

At one time there were Republican politicians and candidates that I could respect.  Sadly, for presidential candidates, they now keep throwing elitist legacy lamebrains at us.  I suppose that there may be a few worthy party members out there somewhere.  I admit the possibility.  Too bad!   They had better get ready to run as independents!

Willard the Prep School Bully

Willard the Prep School Bully

Willard Mitt Romney thinks he's upper crust
but he's a prep school bully that I do not trust!
I tell you indeed
we do not need
another GOP elitist lamebrain to lead us!

Once a bully - always a bully!  I don't see how anyone can vote for this man!

Snoring Part 6

Snoring Part 6

I lie awake listening to snoring.
that sounds like the El train derailing
From 6 AM until 7 -
I pray to heaven
for sleep but the alarm clock is ringing.

Gotta get up!

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Snoring Part 5

Snoring Part 5

I lie awake listening to snoring.
that sounds like Big Ben is tolling
From 5 AM until 6 -
Dennis DeYoung of Styx
gargling while Stomp is rehearsing.

Will this nightmare never end?

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Snoring Part 4

Snoring Part 4

I lie awake listening to snoring.
that sounds like Earl Anthony bowling
From 4 AM until 5 -
Kelly & Regis Live
with both of the idiots blithering.

Unbelievable!  It got worse!

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Snoring Part 3

 Snoring Part 3

I lie awake listening to snoring.
that sounds like Bob Marley is wailing
From 3 AM until 4 -
the US Marine Corps
premier marching band is parading.

How could it get any worse?

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Snoring Part 2

Snoring Part 2

I lie awake listening to snoring.
that sounds just like Tarzan is calling
From 2 AM until 3 -
J Lo slurping her tea
during American Idol auditioning.

It is going to be a long night dear readers!

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Snoring Part 1

Snoring Part 1

I lie awake listening to snoring.
that sounds just like jet planes soaring.
From 1 AM until 2 -
feeding time at the zoo.
After that the Norse Gods are warring.

Sometimes I think that I know the cause of my insomnia!

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MIRV

MIRV

When your terrorists attack our embassy
first we'll get everyone out to safety!
When our marines are through
MIRV will leave for you
a large radioactive hole where it used to be.

Lucky for people in Tripoli and Cairo that I do not have an ICBM Winnebago sitting in my driveway. 

The Little Monkey Gets a Name

The Little Monkey Gets a Name

I decided to give
the little monkey a name.
I thought about George
but that sounded lame!
"How about Crockett? How about Boone?"
The monkey said to me,
"My name is Moon!"

Again thanks to Moon's best friend Mike Trissell of Albuquerque N.M.for his perfect portrait!  

Visit Mike's artist page: Image is Everything

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The Little Monkey 3

The Little Monkey 3

I took the little monkey
down to the beach.
He fell in just beyond reach.
I called for the lifeguard to rescue him!
That's when I found out
the little monkey can swim.

More of the little monkey.

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In Memory of Colonel Canfield Boone

In Memory of Colonel Canfield Boone

Today let us whistle a happy tune

in memory of Colonel Canfield Boone

a great husband and dad

it's a shame that he had

to be taken away from us much too soon!

When I was growing up I was often told that we (my Mother's Guessford family) were related to the family of Daniel Boone.    Unfortunately nobody ever wrote down exactly how we were related and while researching family history I have never been able to find a link.  The closest I have come is that we are in-laws to the Sparks who are in-laws to Daniel Boone's wife Rebecca Bryan Boone.  We do know that the Guessford family followed the Boone family from North Carolina to Kentucky and lived with them there and later followed them again from Kentucky to Missouri and Iowa.  

Unfortunately I did not know Canfield 'Bud' Boone before he was killed at the Pentagon on 9/11.  I have come to know about him and his wonderful sense of humor and love of his family from his wife Linda.  I know that is does not matter that the link is unproven between the Guessford family and the Boone family.  That day we lost - the entire nation lost - a kindred spirit and our brother.

Read about him here: Colonel Canfield Boone

The Little Monkey 2

The Little Monkey 2

I saw a little monkey
sitting in a tree.
I said to the monkey,
"You look like me!
You look like me and I look like you!"
The monkey started crying,
"Boo-Hoo Boo-Hoo!"

The Monkey is back for another verse.  Once again thanks to my friend Mike Trissell of Albuquerque N.M.for his illustrious illustration!

Visit Mike's artist page: Image is Everything

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The Monkey

The Monkey

I saw a little monkey
sitting in a zoo.
I said to the monkey,
"Monkey, I like you!
I like you monkey, I like you!"
The monkey said to me,
"I like you too!"

The Monkey is the first of my poems about Moon the monkey although I did not know his name at the time that was written.  It was composed for my children and was inspired by my daughter's Rockford sock monkey doll.  The Monkey's picture was illustrated by a very talented artist friend, a former coworker of mine, Mike Trissell of Albuquerque N.M.

Visit Mike's artist page: Image is Everything

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Moon Meets Herky

Moon Meets Herky

Moon the monkey met Herky the hawk
He said to Herky, "You're in for a shock!
It'll make you cry!  It'll rattle your bones
when you lose to the State Cyclones!"

It is surprising dear readers that Moon has not yet appeared on this blog.  There are several rhymes about The Little Monkey named Moon and, even though this one is the latest and greatest, it is the first to appear.  It is just in time for the Iowa State Cyclone football victory over Herky's Iowa Hawkeyes this coming Saturday.

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Who's Next?

Who's Next?

I am still a little bit vexed
even though Bin Laden's been exed.
If you helped him hide
do not be surprised
when you find out that you will be next!

I am also a little bit vexed that it took so long.  Thankfully President Obama returned the focus to Bin Laden and the Taliban after G.W.'s misadventure in Iraq!  Whatever happened to congress declaring war and the nation going all out to destroy the enemy?  It is part of our national anthem:  

The Star-Spangled Banner (Verse 4) - Francis Scott Key

O thus be it ever when free-men shall stand
Between their lov'd home and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust!”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

It appears that we get into trouble when we try to go to war without just cause and the declaration.

Beautiful Miriam

Beautiful Miriam

Somehow beautiful Miriam
has me in a delirium.
I'm not admittin'
that I've been smitten
unless someone slips me truth serium!

Beautiful Miriam was written for a high school classmate of mine whose wonderful smile always brightens my day when her picture shows up on my social network page.  Why, dear readers, is the spell checker complaining about my spelling of the word 'serium'.  Doesn't it know about poetic license?

Haven't They Suffered Enough?

Haven't They Suffered Enough?

Cub fans form a line at the golden gate
that's been growing steadily since 1908.
When the Cubs finally win
Pete may let one or two in!
'waiting 'til next year' is their perpetual fate.

As Eddie Vedder sings Someday We'll Go All the Way!

Family Bramble

Family Bramble

When you look into our family history
it soon gets tangled up miserably.
Since we have dozens
of intermarried cousins
it is more like a briar than a tree.

Dozens is an exaggeration dear readers but while I was working on different lines in my family history I kept running into the family of John & Sarah Huffman Swart.   Four different cousins of my Great Grandmother, Mary Martha Belle Allum Guessford , of various generations of removal, married children of theirs.

A Sliver of Truth About a Voracious Reader

A Sliver of Truth About a Voracious Reader

The voracious reader has a hunger
for a new novel by Lisa Unger.
She will be sore
if Lisa doesn't write more.
Hurry!  We're not getting any younger!

I became aware of the author Lisa Unger following her blatant self promotion on the web site shelfari.  After looking at reviews I read her first two books Beautiful Lies and A Sliver of Truth.  Here is Lisa Unger's Shelfari Author Page!