Saturday, May 21, 2016

Birthday Suit Party


Birthday Suit Party

Naked Santa is happy to appear
at a birthday suit party any time of year.
Make yourself a vow
to schedule one now.
If you are modest, get over your fear!

Monday, May 16, 2016

North Carolina ID


North Carolina ID

Here's my North Carolina ID.
Before I vote or I pee
I have to show
my parts below
to an agent of the state's GOP.


Sunday, May 15, 2016

Congratulations Graduate

 
Congratulations Graduate

I would like to congratulate
this year's newest graduate.
We're all proud of you!
Here's what to do.
Now that that's over - you can start to date!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Can Naked Santa Sleep on Your Couch?


 
Can Naked Santa Sleep on Your Couch?

His Campaign is in full sway.
He needs a place to stay.
Don't be a slouch!
Can he sleep on your couch?
Let him know if it's okay!

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Amex Serve - First Against the Wall

 

Amex Serve - First Against the Wall

The first ones against the wall
when the rich ones take their fall
will be Amex Serve
who threw me a curve
with new fees but won't answer a call!


I have been preoccupied with more important things the last few months but today I noticed that American Express Serve has been stealing money from me recently (service fee) and they do not answer their phone. I am canceling that account immediately via good old fashioned snail mail. I promise I will make them pay far more than what they purloined in bad publicity. Do not mess with a limerick blogger!

Verizon sucked me into it and it worked on my phone about 1 time in 3 taking only about 4 times as long as an ordinary credit card transaction while irate customers queued up behind me. Then BAM! they closed down the app leaving me with no convenient means to use the balance in the account. The clever thieves that they are, they figured out a way to take care of that.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Coming From Behind


 
Coming From Behind

Hillary is losing her mind.
Naked Santa is coming from behind.
She'll win by a mile
but his dogged style
makes it a race of the very best kind. 


R Version