Back in the Day - A Girl Named Julie

Back in the Day - A Girl Named Julie

In English class a girl named Julie
sat close enough to give me a cootie.
She aced her essay,
I had little to say.
She earned an A, I eked out a C.

I have a few Back in the Day limericks that will appear in the coming weeks.  They are semi-autobiographical works about my high school days.

In other news dear readers I have nearly exhausted my backlog of good limericks.  Now that a large portion of my limerick library have been published to the blog, the pace of future postings will decrease.  I hope that you go back and reread and comment on your favorites.  I will continue to post new ones and a few more good ones (and probably some bad ones) so stay tuned to this blog!

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Pleasant Valley Farm

Pleasant Valley Farm

The doctor's oath to do no one harm
is ignored here at Pleasant Valley Farm.
My frontal lobotomy
was done pharmaceutically
after my escape was foiled by the alarm!

Please come and visit at Pleasant Valley Farm but be sure not to lose your visitor's pass.

Blue Tears

Blue Tears

When the Chicago Cubs lose it's true
the tears that I hold back are blue.
But when the Cubs win
let the crying begin
if it takes another century or two.

Spring training is in progress.  It will soon be opening day.

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day

I let my old lady have her say
and forswore beer in the lenten way,
but I might be seen
drinking beer that is green
'cause I gave up lent for St. Patrick's day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day dear readers!

My Beautiful Backyard

My Beautiful Backyard

When I look outside and wish real hard
I envision a beautiful yard.
But with thistles and weeds
and dandelion seeds
My lush lawn is everywhere scarred.

It is approaching springtime.  Thoughts turn to lush, beautiful lawns and yards

All Men

All Men

All men live by a simple creed.
All men fight and, when cut, they bleed.
There's not a man born
unaddicted to porn.
The internet was sure to succeed.

I apologize dear readers.  All Men starts nobly but quickly degenerates (sort of like the internet itself).

The King of Pop

The King of Pop

Michael was called the king of pop
when his videos put him up on top.
The kid was a killer
With Beat It and Thriller
after that his life went kerplop!

A downhill spiral that was painful to see.

Once Bitten Twice Shy

Once Bitten Twice Shy

'Round her I'm meek as a kitten.
It's true I was easily smitten
by her dark red hair.
It just wasn't fair!
As they say, "Twice shy when once bitten."

It is true dear readers.  I love a redhead!

Living Vicariously

Living Vicariously

Nothing much happens to me
so I live life vicariously.
The show never ends
for my children and friends.
From the wings I watch enviously.

While there is a little bit of truth in Living Vicariously, I was not content with simply becoming a spectator after I cut back on performing myself.  I coached baseball for quite awhile until the talents of my kid's teams exceeded my amateur ability to further teach them.  I took up my trumpet after a 30 year hiatus and started performing in a brass ensemble and then a community band.

My Beautiful Back Yard Part 2

My Beautiful Back Yard Part 2

My neighbor's lawn's like a golf green.
Another's like a fairway pristine.
My yard's like the rough
and I yell out, "That's tough!", 
when a neighbor yells something obscene.

I was never one to keep my yard carefully manicured,  I set the mower on a high setting  and often when I finished mowing my grass was still longer that either of the neighbor's. 

The Who

The Who

Of all the limericks I've shared with you
There is not a single one about The Who
I think its because
My brain's filled with fuzz
Since I saw their show live back in '72.

I saw The Who perform live twice.  Sadly I did not get to their show before the passing of Keith Moon.  If you are paying attention dear readers, they do show up in other limericks but this one predated those.

A Cold Mug of Beer

A Cold Mug of Beer

I think it would be really fine
if what I wish for was magically mine.
A cold mug of beer
would always be near.
No wait!  I should wish for a stein.

A Cold Mug of Beer is based on the joke about the leprechaun that is caught and must grant three wishes.  His captor immediately asks for a magic mug of beer that refills itself when empty.  The leprechaun grants it, he chugs down his beer, and sure enough, the mug magically refills.  When the leprechaun reminds him that he has two more wishes he says, "This is great!   I'll take two more of these."

The Purpose of Life

The Purpose of Life

Does this question ever bother you,
"What was I put on this Earth to do?"
I'm sure that I'm here
to drink lots of beer
and to enjoy music by The Who.

It is an appropriate time to post The Purpose of Life.  Roger Daltrey of The Who celebrated his 68th birthday on March 1st.  I have been enjoying listening for a good portion of those years.

In other news dear readers, I heard of a guy that gave up beer for lent but he also gave up lent for St. Patrick's day..

Linear Thinking Part 1

Linear Thinking Part 1

Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty?
The answer doesn't take much thinking.
Are you pouring or are you drinking?

Linear Thinking Part 1 is one of my rhymes that never made it into limerick form.   The glass half empty or half full question never made much sense to me with my engineer's brain.  

I was accused of linear thinking when I tried to explain engineering problem solving methods in a journalism class that I once took as an elective . That is where this title came from.  Do not hold your breath for part 2 dear reader.  It has not been written yet.