Please Turn Off Your Phone

Please Turn Off Your Phone

I got a call on my cell.
It was noisy so I had to yell.
On my way out,
The Pastor did shout,
"You Sir are going to Hell!"

I have written more than one limerick based on cell phone etiquette.  The lack of such etiquette (or reasonable use of cell phones particularly by drivers) is one of my pet peeves.

Austerity

Austerity

Sadly there is no haute coutour
when you are on a budget austere.
My clothes may be rags
with thrift store tags,
but thank God I can still afford beer.

Guess what I've been doing today!  Yep!  Paying bills and grocery shopping.

 Previous Austerity Next

Lefty Grove

Lefty Grove

Talkin' 'round the pot belly stove
'bout being related to Lefty Grove.
If we share DNA -
then why can't I play?
Why am I so clumsy with a ball and a glove?

Hall of fame pitcher Robert Moses "Lefty" Grove is my 3rd cousin twice removed, related to me through my Grandfather Merlyn Guessford.  Another left handed pitcher with more than 200 wins, Earl Whitehill is my 1st cousin twice removed, related through my Grandmother Alice (Merlyn's wife).   In the one face to face meeting between them (the first between 2 left handed pitchers with more than 200 wins) Lefty got the win!

Baseball's Hall of Shame

Baseball's Hall of Shame

At Baseball's Hall of Fame
They've omitted a great of the game.
Ron Santo's not included.
The voters are deluded.
They should hide their faces in shame!

I wrote Baseball's Hall of Shame in 2007.  It has taken a few years but the news came today that Ron has been elected.  What a shame that it did not come before his death but better late than never. 

Limeade

Limeade

It was 90 degrees in the shade.
The kids squeezed a vat of limeade.
A circus came through
and elephant pooh

ruined all of the ade that they made.

I watched Water for Elephants today.  I recommend both the book and the movie.  After that, Limeade seemed like an appropriate limerick for the blog.

Style

Style

If you happen to think I have style,
I'm sorry but you miss by a mile.
I own blue red and gray
and what I'm wearing today
I just happened to grab from the pile.

What I lack in style I more than make up for with a lack of fashion sense.

My Grade Point

My Grade Point

I told my teacher that I didn't care
about trash or smog or the ozone layer.
So she failed me
in ecology.
Now my grade point's beyond repair!

This is one of my limericks that is doubly inconsistent with my true nature.  From an early age, based upon Boy Scout training, I have been a believer in conservation and in being a good steward of this planet.  Also, in my school days, I was academically competitive and worked hard to maintain a high grade point.