My Former Favorite Niece

My Former Favorite Niece

Lauren followed a family female tradition
of becoming a Hawkeye upon her graduation.
It mystifies me
how she ever hopes to be
my favorite after her college declaration.

Among the kids on my wife's side of the family, all of the girl cousins attended the University of Iowa.  My wife and I are Iowa Staters and sadly my own daughter became a hawkeye.  I call each of them my favorite and wrote a variation of this limerick for the youngest, Lauren, when she graduated from high school incorporating it into a card with pictures of her and all of my 'former favorite' hawkeye nieces.  Fortunately Lauren came to her senses and transferred to Iowa State and has a good chance of becoming the favorite again when she graduates.

Stick Figures Lament

 

Stick Figures Lament

I wish that I was a little more artistic.
The stick figures I draw are just too simplistic.
skinny lines with no pants
haven't got the substance
of a picture that's more realistic!

I had thought for a long time that my limericks would be more entertaining if they were illustrated,  My artistic talent is limited to crude stick figures.  They are rapidly drawn.  This probably goes back to my grade school art training where I took on every project with my personal goal of rapid completion overriding artistic quality. 

Gary's Grilled Cheese

Gary's Grilled Cheese

Vegetarians were more than displeased
to be patrons of Gary's Grilled Cheese.
They found out he used lard
and they hit him hard.
They broke all of his teeth and both knees!

I won't be investing in that franchise!

Back in the Day - Camp Dodge Pool

Back in the Day - Camp Dodge Pool

If I told you about how the cool
lifeguard drove to Camp Dodge Pool
in mom's brown station wagon
it would sound like bragging
and I don't want to act like a fool.

I was a lifeguard at Camp Dodge Pool in the summers of 1967 and '68.  What a great job!  Unfortunately, dear readers, the pay was not so great and I spent about as much at the concession stand as I earned.

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Daylight Savings Time

Daylight Savings Time

In March we all spring ahead
and lose sleep after we go to bed
and then we fall back,
internal clocks out of whack,
couldn't we save daylight all year instead?

I'm in favor of year round daylight savings time!

Harriet

Harriet

There was a young girl named Harriet
who loved riding 'round in a chariot.
When it was too slow
or if it wouldn't go
she'd just lift it up and carry it.

I watched the Breeder's Cup yesterday.  It looked like a beautiful day at Santa Anita Park!

Back in the Day - The Homecoming Queen

 

Back in the Day - The Homecoming Queen

I should have been acting cool
'round the prettiest girl in school.
But I can be seen
near the Homecoming Queen
standing there grinning like a fool.

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A couple of times I was jealous of my friend, the captain of the football team.  He had the honor of crowning our homecoming queen.  Yep!  I was standing right there near them on the 50 yard line in our band's sweetheart formation and that was one of the times!