The First Man on the Moon (The True Story)

The First Man on the Moon
(The True Story)

Buzz and Neil made Jim go out first.
They were afraid he'd sink or something worse.
Then they had him hide
while they were outside
once assured that their suits wouldn't burst.

Hiatus

 

Hiatus

It created a tremendous fuss
when I put my blog on hiatus.
Oh why did I try it?
It started a riot.
Fans are steaming and starting to cuss.

Steak Fry

 

Steak Fry

At Tom Harkin's annual steak fry
please tell the Senator, "Hi!"
You might remind him
I met him at the state gym
back when he was a regular guy.

Au Naturel

Au Naturel

I doused myself with an ice bucket pail
and ended up in the county jail.
"Do it au naturel",
said my nominating pal!
You're challenged to donate and pay my bail!

The ALS Challenge

The ALS Challenge

The participants deserve our applause
but I might be in trouble because
it is likely considered negligent
comparing it to a wet T-shirt event
when the ALS Challenge is for such a good cause.

Grandpa's Advice

Grandpa's Advice

I'd like to fool around with my cousin
but Grandma says,  "It's a sin."
Grandpa says, "Fornicate
before it's too late
and erectile dysfunction sets in!"

Grandpa's Rhyme

Grandpa's Rhyme

I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny
but it keeps them on my knife.

My mother attributes this one to her Dad, my Grandfather, Merlyn Guessford.