I'm Back

 

I'm Back

Slap on electrodes here and there
where they've carelessly shaved my hair.
Electroshock therapy.
Loss of some memory.
Bring me back from the depths of despair.

Beijing Olympic Gymnastic Judging Explained

 

Beijing Olympic Gymnastic Judging Explained

Gymnastic judges give the Chinese
high scores despite a fall or a sneeze.
"Cause it would really suck
to be forever stuck
in a Chinese jail if their hosts they displease.

 A long lost limerick from 2008.

Naked Santa at the Iowa State Fair

 

Naked Santa at the Iowa State Fair

Hey! Let me know if you are going
to Naked Santa's rally in Des Moines!
Totally bare
at the Iowa State Fair
It sounds like the party to join!

Naked Santa Brings his Campaign to Iowa City

Naked Santa Brings his Campaign to Iowa City

Hawkeye coeds Give a cheer!
Naked Santa will soon appear
downtown on Lynn
at the Hamburg Inn -
"Oh God he's here! See his naked rear!"

Naked Santa's Questionable Campaign Strategy

Naked Santa's Questionable Campaign Strategy

Naked Santa's hat is in the ring
and he isn't wearing anything.
Women admire
his lack of attire.
How many votes do you think that will bring?

Iowa - The Maroon State

Iowa - The Maroon State

Iowa could be a nice peaceful place
and you would see a smile on my face.
But a caucus appears
every 4 years
and brings extra maroons for the GOP race.

Mom would not let me call anyone a moron (even if they were).  She did let me watch looney tunes though!

The Naked Santa Campaign Fund

The Naked Santa Campaign Fund

Donate ten dollars to Naked Santa's campaign!
Get a black and white photo, uncensored, plain.
If you give a lot more
he'll deliver to your door
a life size portrait in a nice walnut frame.