Can Naked Santa Sleep on Your Couch?

 

Can Naked Santa Sleep on Your Couch?

His Campaign is in full sway.
He needs a place to stay.
Don't be a slouch!
Can he sleep on your couch?
Let him know if it's okay!

Amex Serve - First Against the Wall

 

Amex Serve - First Against the Wall

The first ones against the wall
when the rich ones take their fall
will be Amex Serve
who threw me a curve
with new fees but won't answer a call!

I have been preoccupied with more important things the last few months but today I noticed that American Express Serve has been stealing money from me recently (service fee) and they do not answer their phone. I am canceling that account immediately via good old fashioned snail mail. I promise I will make them pay far more than what they purloined in bad publicity. Do not mess with a limerick blogger!

Verizon sucked me into it and it worked on my phone about 1 time in 3 taking only about 4 times as long as an ordinary credit card transaction while irate customers queued up behind me. Then BAM! they closed down the app leaving me with no convenient means to use the balance in the account. The clever thieves that they are, they figured out a way to take care of that.

Coming From Behind

 

Coming From Behind

Hillary is losing her mind.
Naked Santa is coming from behind.
She'll win by a mile
but his dogged style
makes it a race of the very best kind. 

R Version

Naked Santa in North Carolina

Naked Santa in North Carolina

North Carolina is on high alert!
Naked Santa was seen lifting his skirt
at Mr. Mike's Used Books
he got dirty looks
when he said, "Which restroom?" to the clerk.

The Viagra Girl on TV

 

The Viagra Girl on TV

I get a boner whenever I see
the viagra girl on my TV,
but I get  a resumption
of erectile dysfunction
when you crawl into bed next to me.

Face in the Cloud

Face in the Cloud

I took down that nudie I'm sad to say
that it had gone viral right away.
All over the place
we see more than your face.
I'm afraid that it's up in the cloud to stay!

My Platform - a guest limerick by Donald Trump

My Platform - a guest limerick by Donald Trump

We'll make America great.
I'll nuke ISIS and build a wall.

I have a large penis. It's great.
Mexico will pay.
Throw those people out!
I can shoot you on 5th Avenue.
It will be great!