KATHY’S RAP ON AGING
(a guest submission by Kathy Collins Reilly 12/30/2013)
Kathy says, "I'm not a fan of rap music, but in an attempt to hang onto what's left of my youth, I've composed a rap song. Well, the lyrics, anyway. No need to come up with a tune. It's RAP, for cryin' out loud!"
KATHY’S RAP ON AGING
Ol’ Mother Nature and Ol’ Father Time
Been messin’ with my body, been messin’ with my mind.
Gray hair – down there!!
“Skin tag” makes me gag!!
Crepe-y neck, oh heck!!
Osteoporosis? Holy Moses!
Bat-wing arms; I’ve lost my charms!
Keeping my balance, not one of my talents.
Chin needs pluckin’ -- no cause for chucklin’.
Creaking knees, breathing wheeze.
Lost the fight to cellulite.
Visible veins and addled brains.
“What? Quit mumbling!” Hearing loss is humbling.
Age spots, brownish blots.
Flabby belly looks like jelly.
I bemoan no muscle tone: Haven’t even fallen and I can’t get up!
Under each eye a two-inch bag. What a drag.
Toenails so thick they make me sick.
Squint to see: “Who can THAT be?”
Where’re my glasses? Oops! Pardon my gases.
There’s truth to the rumor: you gotta keep your sense of humor.
We all crap out. Ain’t no use in cryin’.
It’s so we start to look forward to dyin’!
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