Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash

Nash wrote "Fleas", a very short verse.
Mine are longer and much, much, much worse.
He's renowned for his brevity.
I'm reviled for my depravity.
Poetry's his blessing - for me its a curse.

Fleas by Ogden Nash

Adam had 'em.

Iowa's Slime Loving Brain Dead Governor

Iowa's Slime Loving Brain Dead Governor

When the market collapsed for vile pink slime
Iowa's brain dead governor compounded the crime.
Branstad granted special perks
to the slime making jerks
neglecting folks unemployed for a much longer time.

I'm not happy that additional people are out of work but I am also not happy that the company closing the facility sold that nasty stuff to corporations so that it could be mixed with perfectly good hamburger to make more profit.    I do not see why these new unfortunates that made the vile pink slime get special treatment from the state that is unavailable to people who have long suffered from the loss of other jobs.

The Song of Camp Matigwa

The Song of Camp Matigwa

Today the scouts of Camp Matigwa
march proudly to the archery range.
There the scouts take up their long bows
on command let arrows fly.

What a sight at Camp Matigwa!
But something looks a little strange.
Are those arrows angled toward me?
Ouch!  My shoulder!  Ouch!  My eye!


Where am I?  Is this Matigwa?
Is this sticky stuff my blood?
Why do I hear scouts around me?
Impaled to the ground am I.

Came the medic of Matigwa.
I clearly hear his words, "Oh crud!"
A Scout asks, "Should we give him first aid?"
"What's the use?  He's gonna die!"


In the sky above Matigwa
astral spirit high and free.
Boone County Coroner pronounces,
"From the corpse those arrows pry."

Hear the spirit of Matigwa,
Gitche Manito he calls me,
"Leave behind your empty vestige."
Like an arrow, I can fly.


Far away from Camp Matigwa
Fly past Ames and Winterset
As I pass my home Des Moines,
Hear my Mother cry for me.

I wake up at Camp Matigwa.
Sleeping bag is drenched with sweat.
I can hear scoutmaster shouting,
"Fall in troop for archery!"

Boy Scout Camp Matigwa!   My home away from home for one week every summer for 5 or 6 of my tween and teen years.  

My most vivid memory of camp is just slightly less bloody than the incident depicted in this poem.  My tenderfoot tent mate rudely woke me up one morning and stuck his sliced up bloody hand in my face.   He had woken early and managed to carve into his hand while he was attempting to whittle a neckerchief slide.  I carefully closed up his knife and  found a marginally clean towel for him to press on his wound with his undamaged hand.  I had him lay down on his back with his knees up and promised him that I'd be right back with some help,  Then I ran and awoke the assistant scoutmaster who brought along the troops first aid kit.  His words when he saw Harry's hand were very much similar to the "Oh crud" that was uttered by the medic in the poem.  They hauled poor Harry to the hospital in town where he received 40 or 50 stitches and he was sent home from there.

Back in the Day - The Prettiest Girl in School

Back in the Day - The Prettiest Girl in School

The blonde cheerleader but I'm hedging my bet.
That flag girl in band is lovely and yet
our homecoming queen
is the cutest I've seen,
and how about that gorgeous Riderette?

Dear readers, here is another Back in the Day limerick.  My nieces will tell you that at one time or another I have called each of them my favorite.  It is no different when I select the prettiest girl in school.  What can I say?  Consistency is not one of my virtues.  If you are looking for consistency on this blog you will be sadly disappointed.

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Back in the Day - The Swim Team

Back in the Day - The Swim Team

Back when I was on the swim team,
Riderette eyes took on a gleam
of lascivious attitude
when they found we swam nude
and pictured us in their day dream.

Another of my Back in the Day limericks.  I know that it is hard to believe these days but we swam nude in all of our high school swim classes and team practices.  No it was not coed!

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Horse Meat

Horse Meat

For my protein I like to eat meat
from a beast with a moo, squeal, or bleat!
But nay I say
to a meal that said neigh
from some nag that just couldn't compete!

Whoa Nelly!  It seems like a good time to post Horse Meat dear readers.  The vegetarians that visited last week have gone home and the Kentucky Derby has been run!

Back in the Day - The Prettiest Smile

Back in the Day - The Prettiest Smile

I've known this is true for quite awhile.
A girl in my class has the prettiest smile.
When she would pass
in the hall before class
my-oh-my how she could beguile.

Back in the day limericks are mostly about my high school days in the 1960's at Theodore Roosevelt High School in Des Moines, Iowa.

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